Crashing into the Cosmos

Cassie. 15. A human of the female persuasion.
RAVENPUFF
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~ Saturday, September 17 ~
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monday:

bettyhofstadtdraperfrancis:

I just came across THE BIGGEST douchefuck on OKC.  Meet Jabberwock12 - a self-proclaimed “nice guy” from Toronto who is on OKC because he just loves to “end a perfectly healthy relationship, seemingly “out of nowhere”, leaving the girl distraught, confused, and usually outraged, rather than allow her to psychologically damage me.”

Please give his long list of dating demands a full read, I promise it is both entertaining and rage inducing.

OH.  OKC gave me an 84% match with this excuse for a human being.  That’s hilarious.

You know when I last had a list of “ideal criteria” for dating? I was 14 years old. And they were nothing like the hyper specific demands listed here, because, you know, I wasn’t a deluded asshole.

My favourites are his repeated demands for anal, insistence on water breaks during sex, and denial of anyone who doesn’t have perfect eyesight.

…I think vague ideals (such as: not a serial killer) are alright.
BUT THIS IS CRAY CRAY 

Tags: Well then someone has commitment issues
71 notes
  1. what-a-n00b reblogged this from celestialcow and added:
    I have to wonder if people message him with a genuine interest.
  2. miraclemacs reblogged this from celestialcow
  3. celestialcow reblogged this from monday and added:
    *blink* *blinks more* Did I really just read all that?
  4. bookishmoonchildbritt reblogged this from susannaher and added:
    this isn’t real right? internet troll strikes again? please? tell me no one is really that dumb.
  5. susannaher reblogged this from ladybubblegum and added:
    LOLwut. i can’t even. “you are middle class and accept it,” “you are rich or don’t act rich,” or “you’re poor but make...
  6. ladybubblegum reblogged this from mrshowardhughes and added:
    think he’s left his options...little too open. Please to be taking note that he couldn’t...
  7. runningintodoors reblogged this from monday and added:
    …I think vague ideals (such as: not a serial killer) are alright. BUT THIS IS CRAY CRAY
  8. monday reblogged this from terribleokcupidmessages and added:
    You know when I last had a list of “ideal criteria” for dating? I was 14 years old. And they were nothing like the hyper...
  9. wolfe-bites reblogged this from lightspeedsound
  10. mrshowardhughes reblogged this from rikkemorningstar and added:
    Sorry guys….I think I’m off the market now. (seriously? I fit like 85% of this and I would never touch this guy’s weiner...
  11. tmartino reblogged this from lightspeedsound
  12. lightspeedsound reblogged this from thatqueerchick and added:
    …I wish all douchebags on OKC were this upfront about the exact specifications of their douchebaggery.
  13. thatqueerchick reblogged this from skycry and added:
    *Spluttter* To be woken up by him nibbling on your clit? First, sexual assault, second, OUCH. You want someone to nibble...
  14. skycry reblogged this from dailymurf
  15. onedear reblogged this from sinousine and added:
    AND HE WONDERS WHY HE’S SINGLE
  16. onewomanrevolution reblogged this from slutfingerz and added:
    The only thing more appalling than this boy’s thought process is the idea that people make applications for spouses....
  17. firegrowshigher reblogged this from kittea-cat and added:
    9) You have self-confidence, but you do not always have to be right about everything and you are definitely not a...
  18. todieonyourfeet reblogged this from dustydeath and added:
    I got to “weigh less than 135lbs” and felt the need to round house him. Fucking media promoter.
  19. dustydeath reblogged this from dailymurf and added:
    Maybe girls wouldn’t have to fake orgasms if he was good enough to produce a real one.
  20. slutfingerz reblogged this from opiumdenmother and added:
    Way to score the highest rating on the “how problematic can you be?” test. This person’s life is a fail.
  21. shakeninsane reblogged this from opiumdenmother
  22. opiumdenmother reblogged this from dailymurf and added:
    Ok I’m sorry some of these are hilarious A prospective partner needs 20/20 vision?? Really?? This man is NEVER going to...
  23. silvensorrow reblogged this from nigelmaj and added:
    Holy shit Bailey you’re my hero XDDD
  24. kittea-cat reblogged this from nigelmaj and added:
    I think my favorite bit is that he won’t date girls with contact lenses? ROFL
  25. rebelvampire reblogged this from lynai and added:
    I’m leaving this planet. Just…people like this exist? Really? REALLY? Just…congrats whoever you are. You’ve made me...
  26. sinousine reblogged this from marilyncuberle and added:
    “You keep your nostril hair under control.”
  27. nigelmaj reblogged this from sanguinehero and added:
    I just made a profile just to troll him. Anyone want to give me advice? I haven’t started contacting him yet, and...
  28. marilyn-monbro reblogged this from thecarefree
  29. lynai reblogged this from thecarefree and added:
    I like how you have to have sex with him without a condom. If the woman has a baby, I hope he’s ready to be a father....
  30. sanguinehero reblogged this from thecarefree
  31. marilyncuberle said: I reblogged this but if you aren’t comfortable with that let me know and I’ll delete it. I just feel like everyone I have ever met needs to see this so they can hate him as much as I do, ya know?
reblogged via monday